Call it a case of the Mondays, the pregnancy blues, or what I like to refer to it as: the blopples. Whatever you want to call it, I have it. And it's bad today. I'm sitting here at my desk, dreading my first class. The eczema on my fingers is so bad that lotion burns it. I've eaten my banana chips, but I still feel uneasy in my stomach. I cried on the way to work. This is ridiculous.
I want to go home. I was hoping with everything I had that all the rain from yesterday would flood the school and they would have no choice but to close for today (and tomorrow and the next day)
"But you'll just have to make it up at the end of the school year."
I don't give a shit. I need an extra day.
My bummer of a mood is so bad that if I weren't saving every last day I have for when Dav comes, I might take a personal day. Oh wait, subs are impossible to get last minute, never mind. I'd be stuck here anyway.
It's not just bad for me when I'm like this. It's bad for my students too. I'm snappy and frowny. I really don't give a shit about whether or not they are enjoying class. I remember when I was in school and a teacher would be in a bad mood. I thought to myself, I'm never going to let my personal mood effect my teaching. Oh how I laugh now, and say a silent sorry for those teachers that I used to judge. It's impossible to completely separate how you feel from your teaching.
It doesn't help that it's still dark and gloomy outside, and I think it's supposed to rain all week long. All I can think about is getting home to A, and snuggling up. But even then, by the time my work day is over and I get home, I'm already ready for bed and end up falling asleep on the couch. I'm useless right now. I didn't do one damn chore this weekend because I was too busy sleeping. There are clothes in the washer that have been there for a week now. I need to wash them again! ::sighs:: Why am I even worried about the laundry right now? See, this is what I mean! I'm too anxious. I worry too much. And my damn fingers won't stop itching. And my feet are swollen. Shit.
Why can't I just sit at home today and feel Dav kicking and punching instead of being here at this shitfest?
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