Bad mood bears

(Ok, it does make me smile just a bit that there is actually a book with this title.)


I just can't help it. I'm in a bad mood this morning. I didn't sleep well at all last night because I felt like my feet and hands were balloons. It hurt every way I tried to lay. It still hurts to try to make a closed fist, even the loosest of ones with my hands.

Apparently on Fridays McDonalds doesn't make decaf coffee because guess who ended up with a cup without a D on it again? Only this time I realized it before I had drank the whole thing. But now the question is what to do? I still want coffee. But I know I shouldn't drink the whole thing. And although I have a bit of time this morning that I could go back out and bitch them out over there and demand another cup, I don't really have the energy.

I went to the teacher's lounge this morning to make copies of this song I was going to try with the 8th grade. The copier jammed. Even after finding 3 pieces of misfed paper, it still said that the damn thing was jammed. So I said sorry to the next person needing the copier and I gave up. To me this was a sign that they weren't going to sing it anyway. I've said before that I am basically beyond trying with this year's 8th grade class. Why put in all the effort when they are just going to run me over every week?

I should be happy - this is my last day before I go on break. But even though I've only had a few sips of coffee, my heart is racing and I'm crampy. I also feel a bad headache coming on. This is not good, because my Dr. told me yesterday if I get a terrible headache I need to call her immediately. Shit. Is it possible that my work has made me develop this dangerous condition?

So here's where we are now

I was really not expecting what I heard at the doctors today. I'm still trying to let it sink in.

Blood pressure is up. I have protein in my urine. I gained 4 pounds in a week. Plus I've been swollen. My Dr. says that it looks like I have preeclampsia. Basically it means that all of these things happen and that can make it dangerous for me and the baby.

Thank goodness Daven's heartbeat still sounds good.

So tomorrow is my last day of work. And I have to collect all of my pee for a 24 hour period this weekend and then take it to the hospital to have it checked. This means that I basically can't leave the house for a whole day. And every time I have to pee (which is eleventy-billion times in a day) I'll have to remember to not pee in the toilet.

I have to go back to the Dr. on Monday and if things aren't looking better she is going to induce me that day. And while I really don't want this - I don't want to be sick or have anything wrong with me. And I don't really want to have to be induced either. But Monday is my dad's birthday. And we are so ready to meet Daven. And I have to start every sentence with the word and now!

I personally think that it would be nice if Daven would come on his own this weekend. But the past couple of weekends would have been great too, and we know how that went! A bunch of coworkers claim that he'll come this weekend though, since it's a full moon.



Is Daven a werebaby? Oh wow, I can't believed I googled that and found this:


Seriously though, I don't understand why people put so much stock into a full moon making things happen.

So I have to make it through work tomorrow and then come home and start collecting pee. I bet there won't even be anything on tv!

39 weeks!

A few weeks ago we never thought we would make it this far. And now here we are, exactly one week away from my due date. It looks like A's mom might not be right after all - looks like Daven isn't going to come early! At least this week's comparison is better than last week's.

Baby Daven is a mini watermelon!



He should be weighing in at 7-something pounds. I'm curious to see how accurate their weight guesstimations are. I know one girl that had her baby at 37 weeks and he turned out to be over 10 pounds! But here everything I read says that at my point in my pregnancy, Daven still shouldn't even be 8 pounds yet. Hmmm.

So here's a little glimpse into how the very extremely pregnant mind works. A had a fb status update about the "iPad", Apple's newest product. This made me think Pad Thai. So guess who was kind enough to look up Thai places for us to eat at last night? That's right - my dearest husband. It was good, too! Thankfully he likes ethnic food as much as I do. I have a feeling we are going to frequent Mai's Thai often now that we have discovered it! Thanks, boo boo!

Last night A put the crib together. We still have some drawers and things to make, and there's the rolly storage shelf under the crib to put together, but the main crib/changer is all ready to go!

My damn cat Coheed scared the living shit out of me again last night. You remember, the one that fell from the ceiling? Well we have an air vent down low on the wall that isn't covered yet. I took my eye off that cat for 2 seconds and then I see he's disappeared all but his tail into that hole. That very small hole that leads to nowhere. I freaked the fuck out. Grabbed and pulled him back out by his tail and sent him packing back down the steps. Is he trying to give me a heartattack?

Here's a picture of him before he got stupid. He's lounging on the crib parts.


I'll be posting pics of the nursery when everything is all together and in place, but for now, this is the only glimpse you get.

After I was done "helping" A with the crib and we came back downstairs, my cuddle kitty Mia deciding to console my worrying heart by turning into "undercover Mia".


Unfortunately, I don't have any pics of Oreo from yesterday. I love her to death, but she is frustrating the hell out of me! She'll be so good one day and go the whole day with no accidents, then out of nowhere BAM! She pisses on the carpet again. The only thing I can think last night is that I had coaxed A into going to Dairy Queen and we had icecream treats that were not shared with our dear pup. But seriously, is she going to piss every time I don't share from my plate? What does mommy need to do, Oreo? Why won't you tell me?

Our sleep was interrupted this morning when Coheed ran across A and started chasing after something. That something ended up being a mouse. Thankfully once the kitties caught the mouse A was able to get him and let him go outside. He's my hero! And even more so that this occured at around 4 in the morning. It was hard to get back to sleep after that!

My day from hell is getting ready to begin. 6 classes in a row without a moment's break makes me a little crazy! But before I go, here are this week's pics. I'll try to update after my Dr.'s appointment this afternoon.

"What do you mean you're pregnant?"

Ah, the kiddos. They really do say the darnest things, don't they?

My last class of the day was 2nd grade. We were doing this song that involved patting you head, shoulders, hips, knees and ankles. I was modeling how to do it and how it went along with the song. When I got to the part where you have to bend down and touch your ankles I said something along the lines of, "Ok, at this part you touch your ankles. I can't do it because I am so very pregnant..."

That's when I got the surprised exclamation from one of the girls in the front row, "What do you mean you're pregnant?!"

Oh man. I laughed. My due date is next Thursday, people!

I guess it's a good thing that they don't all notice. It must mean that I don't look as much like a whale as I feel. Or maybe they are all just oblivious and don't know jack about jack. :;shrugs::

In other happenings since I posted early this morning, I had my second puker of the school year. (big sarcastic yay!) I had 4th grade art and we were going through the reading in the book. One of the boys throws up, barely missing the book and catching the table. (blech). He just stares at me. I point and say, "Trash can!" which was literally right behind him. He walked over to the trash can, picked it up, and then stared at me again. This time I pointed to the door and said , "Office!" He makes it to the door before retching again in the can. All the while the rest of the class is gagging and making all kinds of noises. Lovely.

Luckily the custodian was quick with his clean-up. ::phew:: Although the cleaning supplies were so strong that I had to open a window to breathe. And then I turned on the heat too. I know, I'm bad, what a totally un-green thing to do! But I was desperate!

I just don't understand that at that age, you can't make it to the can at least. Yes, I expect preschoolers to puke on themselves, but by the time you get to 4th grade, you should have puked enough times to have some understanding about when it's coming. And I found out later that the same kid had been sent home on Monday for throwing up in school! Come on! So not only should he still be at home, but he should have been able to think to himself, hmm, I think I might need to barf. Maybe I should find somewhere other than the table and floor to do it!

Anyhow!

Daven is just hanging in there still. And besides my ongoing case of mega-gas and back aches, I've got nothin. Good thing I know that all this waiting is worth it!

I think A is going to attempt to put together the crib tonight. We've got it over at the house and all the parts and pieces are upstairs just ready to be assembled. I can't imagine trying to follow those directions though. I hope A doesn't get too frustrated!

Alrighty, I am so getting out of here and going home! At least I survived another day at work!

Well, the day sure didn't start off to a great start. Had my usual night-time restlessness, accompanied with terrible gas pains. Had to clean up cat puke before the alarm even went off. At least I heard that awful meow and made him get off the bed before Coheed hacked up his unchewed piece of cat food. Then when A sweetly came in to tell me that I had to get up, I went to put my shirt on only to find that the washer had messed it up and there were spots all over it. So I had to go grumbling back into the laundry room, where most of my clothes, which were washed on Sunday, still were not dry. (Oh, I can't wait until the time comes for our laundry room remodel so there is enough room to air dry all of our clothes!)

After I finally found something to wear and got ready the rest of the way, I wanted to cry when A and I got out the door. I didn't want to leave him! No! No work! Don't go, boo boo! He's doing such a good job being patient with me. I am such a mess.

I decided that I would go to McDonalds and get a decaf coffee because otherwise I would drink the regular stuff here in the lounge, and that's not even the good, worth-it kind of caffeine! Only by the time I can actually turn left into their parking lot, the drivethrough has all of a sudden backed up to the street.

::grumble grumble::

So I drove around, parked, and waddled my people penguin self inside for my dollar decaf. Fine. I didn't even have to wait. That was a plus. Then as I'm coming out of there and already in the process of crossing the parking lot to my car, this old man in an SUV with his handicap marker swinging from his mirror almost fucking hits me! I'm not being overdramatic here - I literally had to take a step back as he flew past all the drivethrough traffic and me. I guess he must have been late to meet his buddies for their rousing morning ritual of get up at the ass crack of dawn, order a small coffee from McDonalds and read the newspaper. Well Heaven forbid, don't let this pregnant chic get in your way!

I get to school and grumble on into my classroom. Took my leftover pizza up to the lounge to put it in the tiny fridge. But what did I discover once I got there?

SAUSAGE BALLS!!!!!!!

Today is birthday treats day, and someone made sausage balls! The kind that my mother neglected to make for Christmas and I cried about. There they were! I ate like 6 of them. Oh, but that's not all. There was also a homemade breakfast cake with pineapples and pecans and sugary goodness. I had a piece of that too. Heated it all up in the microwave and waddled back to my classroom. It was amazing! Thank you, thank you, thank you to whoever it was that made these delicious treats, because I didn't know how I was going to make it through the day!

After yesterday's snow day (which I was extremely grateful for) I really did not want to come today. But the weather report claims that it is supposed to snow all day tomorrow. Will it? While I don't really want a ton of snow on the ground as we wait for Daven, it sure would be nice to have the rest of the week off without having to get my sub to cover for me!

Yesterday I started working on the canvases for Daven's wall. I got the majority of them done. I'll have to post some pics after they are finished. I am proud of what I've gotten done so far.

Alright, my band is in here to turn my good mood from food back into frustration. Come on, baby Daven! Lets get momma out of school early!

Made it through another day

The school/work day was long, and I felt turdish the whole time, but I survived. I sure as hell wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow though! I just don't have the patience or stamina for those kiddos.

"Just wait until you have your second kid!" I can just hear people saying.

STFU.

A and I went to Spinelli's for dinner to get some delicious New York style pizza. So good. Daven sure likes it!

I was going to start on some more artwork for Daven's room tonight, but I just don't feel good enough. I took a shower and that was about all I can handle. I feel kinda like I'm getting the flu again. I think my body is done being pregnant.

It probably doesn't help that I'm not sleeping and literally cannot stay comfortable. My stupid swollen hands add to the issue.

My feet are swollen too, but I've got my spa booties on. I don't know if they will help, but they smell like spearmint and are warm and squishy.

Ok, so they aren't exactly sexy. But I never said that they were. And this is better than my bare feet. Even someone with a foot fetish wouldn't like a pic of these tootsies right now!

I'm now in a constant freak-out between "get this baby out of me" and "holy shit, this baby has to come out of me". I told A that once I start going into labor I would just like to skip to the point where they say congrats and hand me my baby boy. Shit. That can't happen. Someone should really work on that!

Ok, I'm having mega back pains. I think I need to find the heating pad. Night!

Love you, Daven!

"You're still here?"

Yes, I am. Obviously. I am waddling down the hall right in front of you.

"We should start a poll to bet on when you are going to go into labor."

Cute. Really. Go ahead.

I am muddling through work right now, currently sipping on my second cup of raspberry leaf tea of the day.

A and I got busy again last night. Now I can barely walk today. That makes 3 times in 2 days. If nothing else, at least we've been having fun! (Sorry about the carpet burn on your shins, boo!)

I'm having a lot of back pains so far this morning. But silly me can't really tell if it's coming and going or just a constant "screw you". I guess we'll see.

Now here I go, to plaster on a happy face for my kindergarteners!

As much as we hope and wish, Daven is still staying put. "They" say that sex is one of the best ways to get the process going and kick-start labor. Well folks, we're having quite a bit of fun trying, and I'm hurting muscles that I forgot I had, but I'm pretty sure that Daven is in there laughing at us. He must be determined to make me get up and go to work tomorrow! If I were him, I'd be tired of hearing all the kids at school singing.

A and his dad are upstairs right now installing the toilet and vanity for our half bath. Yay! We are getting so close to having everything in it's place! I'm secretly hoping that we can get the crib from his parent's garage today and put it together. Then I can put the bedding in and Daven will have a bed! Yes, I know he has a bassinet already ready for him and this is what he'll be sleeping in at the beginning anyhow, but I still can't wait to see the crib ready.

I think we are going to wait to move our bedroom upstairs until after I come home from the hospital and recover, because I know that stairs are a no-no afterward, especially if I have to get stitches. (ahhhh!!!)

I know that everyone has to look at me and think I'm lazy, because it's almost 1 in the afternoon and I'm still in my pjs. But I still have the pregnancy excuse, don't I? I think I'm going to go snuggle under the covers for a little bit. Too bad A can't come with me. Poor guy has been working his ass off getting our house ready. I love you more than anything, A!

Oops! I just ate 4 Krispy Kreme doughnuts. And they were oh so delicious. Now I'm ready for a nap.

It seems like Daven is comfy enough because it doesn't look like he's going to budge any time soon. Do I still feel like crap? Yes. But is it labor? That's a nope.

I am super swollen. Even after a night of "sleep", I woke up feeling like I am part of the Clump family. I'm going to start accompanying my farts with large arm pumps and clapping my hands together. Oh Eddie Murphy. What an entertaining movie! My hands and feet hurt! It's pretty bad when even my flat, moccasin-like slip ons don't even fit right.

Daven, I love you. We want to meet you. But don't come out before you are ready! Mommy grumbles and complains a lot, but don't pay any attention to it!

38 weeks and 1 day - less than 2 weeks to go!

Ow! I just burned my tongue on my McDonald's decaf. Damn. But I was so thirsty after that egg and cheese biscuit I accidentally got this morning that I didn't bother checking the temp of the coffee before I took a big drink. Oops.

Yesterday marked the 38th week. "They" say that a high percentage of births happen within the 2 week window of the due date. Did you hear that, Daven? We're within that two weeks. Please don't make that two weeks after!

I finally met my sub yesterday. She was really nice. Hopefully she doesn't think the plans I leave for her suck! I really don't want to type out detailed plans for next week when I might end up being here anyway.

Well, I had my weekly appointment yesterday as well. Gained another pound. I'm really not sure where my weight is now in the scheme of things. I've been gaining back in this past month. But I honestly don't remember where I started out at. My blood pressure is back down from last week, and Daven's heartbeat is still strong and steady.

The good news is that I am now officially 1 cm dilated. The bad news is that who knows how long it will stay that way!

"I've seen some women in for their appointment in the afternoon at 1 cm and then I'm getting a call later that night from the hospital saying she's a 7 cm and I need to come in immediately."

"Or you could still be here at 40 weeks."

::sigh::

I really don't want to pressure you out, Daven. I know you'll come out when you're ready. It's just that I don't want to work anymore, and your daddy and I are just so anxious to meet you!

I've even started trying the old wives tales. I've walked, ate spicy food on 3 different occasions, drank tea with raspberry leaf in it, and had sex. A is convinced that the sex on Wed. is the reason I am now 1 cm dilated. I guess we'll never really know for sure!

In other news, the upstairs looks great! All the walls are painted, most of the baseboards are up, and the carpet is in. The only problem is that now my male cat Coheed has to make his stance and claim the space as his by pooping in all the corners of our room upstairs. It is absolutely infuriating. We are going to try to put up a gate at the stop of the stairs and hope that he can't jump over it. He did the same thing when we were redoing our bathroom over the summer. He started pooping in the bathtub the very day it was installed. So we just keep the door shut when no one is in there. Can't exactly do that with the second story of our house though. Any suggestions on what to do? Poor Mia is such a good girl, and she tries to cover up the poop that her brother leaves.

Oreo is still peeing in the house. Last night as we were cleaning up the poop upstairs, Oreo squatted and peed right in front of me and my mother-in-law! WTF?!

Daven is now 7 pounds, and is as long as a leek. Yeah, a leek. Again, I have a hard time picturing Daven as a leek. I just keep telling myself that this is for length comparison only!



It's scary to think that there are only 2 more comparisons left. And just the fact that he started out much smaller than the quarter is amazing.

This is what I look like now. Here's your people penguin!






And for a little comparison, here's what I looked like 10 weeks ago at 28weeks.


In a way, time really flies by. Yes, days and weeks are long, but overall, this pregnancy has really flown by. It was the end of May, the last day of school to be exact, that I got the positive test. Now we're at the end of January and less than 2 weeks away from my estimated due date. I have had a lot of miserable days with this pregnancy, but I am also so thankful that Daven has remained healthy throughout.

Ok, McDonalds, I have an issue with you now. I noticed, after I finished drinking my large decaf coffee that Daven is going nuts. And when I looked on the side of the cup, even though my cream and sugar was marked, there is no D for decaf. Argh! ::shakes fist angrily:: Don't get me wrong, it was good coffee, but Daven does not need a large coffee running through his little body!

I need to start chanting, because my first class of the day is getting ready to come in.

I WILL make it through the day, I WILL make it through the day...

Today has really been a test of my emotional strength so far. I've failed.

I think I wrote yesterday about how my principal f-ed up my meeting with my sub. Well I got an email from him first thing this morning saying that he scheduled it for tomorrow. Fine, except that Thursdays are my hardest day and he scheduled it for my one and only break of the day. It was hard enough for me to go non-stop in second tri but at 9 months? I sat at my desk and cried and cried like a damn baby.

Then as my 5th graders were coming in for art, I started having this awful pain. Sharp, stabbing in my ute and back. Then I felt like I was going to throw up. Then pass out. Luckily I did neither and after a few minutes it subsided. And fortunately, I haven't felt that bad since. But really? Come on, this is getting ridiculous!

A little bit later, I noticed that my ring finger was throbbing in pain. I tugged on my rings. Stuck. Fuck. So I had to get some lotion and take them off. This immediately made me want to cry. I know that a lot of women have to take their rings off, and at earlier points in their pregnancies too. But I thought that since I was in the home stretch that I would be able to keep them on. Now my finger feels naked and bruised. I have my rings on my necklace, but it makes me so sad that they are not on my finger! ::holds back tears::

And we're just before 10:30 am. All of this, and the work day is not near over yet. Fuck.

I have a feeling that tomorrow at my Dr.'s appointment I'm going to be begging her to write me a note. As much as I wanted to work up until Daven gets here, I cannot do my best teaching under these circumstances! I either want to snap at the kids or just cry in their faces.

"It's not time yet!"

Say it again, bitches! I dare you!

Did I mention that it feels like my nipples might fall off?

Daven, you're a big boy now, right? You're ready to come out, aren't you? Daddy is going crazy not having you here yet. He wants to hold you more than anything! We are ready to meet you! I know you're being stubborn right now. But think about it, ok? We love you!

I've got to be quick here, because I have a class coming in a few minutes.

I'm definitely freaking out. I had an all out panic attack / meltdown last night when I was getting ready to take my shower. Now I know I've said that my boobs have leaked before. But that was just dried up. Last night, clear liquid actually came out of both nipples. While I understand that this is perfectly normal and natural and supposed to happen, for some reason I couldn't handle it. I went to A crying and hyperventilating. And completely naked. But he was good enough not to laugh or take advantage of my naked state and sat there and calmed me down. I love him.

Before this, my coworkers threw me a baby shower yesterday during our inservice. I got way more than I thought I would ever get from them. It was nice, and my mom was there, which made it better.

Other than that, not too many contractions yesterday. Although I did have some freak wanky sinus thing going on last night at dinner. Even though I wasn't really congested or stopped up, my nose started running. I blew my nose. All kinds of snot came out, and it was bloody. I blew some more, and then the whole left side of my face started throbbing with pain. Jaw, teeth, head, eye, everything. I've never felt anything like it! The pain didn't go away for a good hour. That meant that we had to go home from dinner instead of heading out to Babies R Us to get the breast pump with the money A's coworkers gave him.

So today I'm at work. And even though I had it written in my schedule, I did not meet with the lady who is going to be my sub. Apparently my principal never emailed her back after he confirmed the day and time with me last week. Nice.

I am having really bad pains right now. But here comes my class, and I can't really time contractions and teach at the same time, can I? This is going to be a long day. I need hugs.

The games continue

This has really become nerve wracking. We've been told that Daven came come at any time. I've been having contractions off and on, and just all around feeling icky. We are anxious and nervous every day, not knowing what will happen. I guess I should have known that it would end up this way, just waiting and hoping and imagining. But I didn't realize how tough the wait was going to be!

Yesterday was a very long day for A, because they painted the second story of the house, stairwell included, all in one day. Luckily we had a few friends come over and help, and his dad helped as well. Today they are working on getting the baseboards up and I think possibly installing the light fixtures. He has literally not had a break this weekend. And we both keep hoping that Daven is going to put a stop to the work by deciding to show.

This morning I really super wanted strawberry pancakes, so we went to iHop. I was pretty miffed because they literally only put 5 strawberries on top of my pancakes. Yes, I counted. And one of them was completely frozen. Eating breakfast proved to be harder than expected though, because I started having contractions. And let me tell you, you cannot eat through those. I did finally manage to finish my stack-o-pancakes, although my turkey bacon wasn't good enough to merit finishing.

Came back home and was still feeling bad. I started to fall asleep in the recliner, and decided to move back to the bed. I actually took a nap, only waking sometimes when I had a contraction. I also drooled all over the place, just so you know.

After getting up out of bed, I didn't really feel anything for a bit. But now it's all starting again. At this point, I'm really not sure whether I should be excited or just plain annoyed.

Even though Oreo is still extremely jealous and is still peeing on the carpet in the office every day, the kitties don't seem to mind Daven's impending arrivial. In fact, Mia seems to have made good friends with him already!


It's going to be a long rest of the day, sitting here attempting to time the pains I'm having and trying to figure out what's going on. Wish us luck!

Well, I'm still here! Still feeling really bad too. But the pain isn't time-able, it's consistent. Still feels like period pains coupled with sharp back pains.

I'm so anxious over this, I'm sleeping even less now. Every hour I wake up and find my hands balled up into tight fists. They are both sore. I have to go to the bathroom and it hurts so bad that I feel like I might not make it from the bedroom to the bathroom. But then there's never that much to go. When I actually do get to sleep, these very weird dreams make me feel like I haven't gone to sleep at all.

I can only remember bits and pieces, but something about an ex boyfriend and his sister messing up the plumbing in my bathroom so that water is coming from everywhere and I can't turn it off. And I can't find A.

Me playing with someone else's baby in a swimming pool, but the baby ends up being a water toy doll.

I mean really. WHT?

Today A is painting the upstairs. Right now his dad is helping him. Hopefully there will be more people painting later, because there is two bedrooms, a bathroom and a stairwell to paint.

Today I need to finish my thank you notes for my shower and paint my wooden letter for the nursery.

Baby boy, when will we meet you? My MIL freaked out last night at dinner when she saw how much I have "dropped". Then she let us know that when your water breaks, it stains everything. This I was not aware of! As much as I'm afraid of my inside baby coming out, I am definitely ready to start feeling better. And it's been so long - I'm ready to meet Daven.

Officially full term!

We love you, baby Daven! And now that you are full term, you can come out any time without us having to worry about you not being ready! Yesterday sure was a big day!

So yesterday right about 2:00, we had a fire drill at school. It was at the very end of my plan and I was sitting by myself at my desk. Of course, the alarm scared the crap out of me. It was then that I started feeling pains. It was like Saturday all over again! Luckily, I already had my weekly appointment scheduled for right after school.

I get to the Dr.'s and they tell me that she's over at the hospital delivering right now. It shouldn't be too long. I told them I'd stay and wait, that I was having some pains and didn't want to reschedule. A few minutes later they told me she was back and sent me back to a room. I had just taken my pants off and covered with that stupid piece of paper towel when the nurse came in and said that my Dr. got called out for another delivery, did I want to wait?

Mother fucker. I still don't feel good, I don't want to end up at the hospital with another false alarm - I'll wait.

So after being there for an hour, she finally comes in to see me. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't mad at her. I mean, it's her job to deliver babies and when Daven comes, I'd want her to drop everything and be there. It was just frustrating because babies were coming out of vaginas from every direction!

Daven's heartbeat still sounds good! But my blood pressure was up. She did an internal (which hurt so, so bad) and said that I was still pretty much closed, but that she could feel his head right at the bottom of my cervix. Said I was 70% closed. Not really sure what that means, because most of the time they talk in centimeters dilated, not percentages.

She then said, "You're a teacher, right?"

Yes.

"Then I don't want you going to work tomorrow. I'm writing you a note."

I wasn't about to complain.

If my pain gets better and Daven stays put, I'll go back to work Monday. But my Dr. did say that it is entirely possible to have a weekend baby.

Will Daven come this weekend?

He is now as "hefty" as swiss chard. Huh? For some reason, I'm having a hard time comparing Daven to a leafy vegetable. He should be about 6 and a half pounds.
So far today, I haven't really done much. I went to the Save a Step down the road for some milk, and I took a shower, but that's about it. I've been having fun browsing online for all the books I can download on my nook. I've already gotten three books - for free! Love my nook!

I don't think I'm having contractions, but more like period cramps. I feel like I'm having a horrible period. And there is a ton of pressure on my lower back and pelvis. Instead of feeling him kick my ribs, now he's trying to escape via his doorbell, er, um, my belly button. But I'm taking all of this as good signs!

Tonight the family is going to start painting the upstairs. I'm not even allowed up there! But I've got my wooden letters to paint that spell out Daven's name. I'm painting them dark blue and then stencil painting white and yellow stars on them. I feel a little guilty not doing any of the manual labor, but I guess I WILL be doing some of that here soon! Bah ha, I know that was a lame joke. You liked it.

Here's me yesterday, right at 37 weeks.






We're so excited to meet you, baby Daven!

I said to myself that I needed to update my blog. But as I sit here, I don't know what all to write about! Prepare for a ramble...

Work is basically unpleasant because of a.) where I work and b.) I'm so pregnant. It hurts whenever I move, I'm tired all the time, and singing with the kids makes me out of breath.

I was really considering after our false alarm Saturday and continuing to feel like crap that I might not stay working until the due date. But apparently it turns out that I do not qualify for short term disability. Insurance gave me the run-around and said that in order to have that you have to have life insurance. And I don't. So I'm trying to tough it out.

Some of the kids at school are just now realizing that I am pregnant. Now I say all the time that these kids don't listen and don't pay attention. Now do people believe me? I haven't just been eating too many burritos! And I know beyond just my physical appearance that I've mentioned it to every class at school.

I keep going back and forth between really wanting Daven to get here NOW and being afraid of not being pregnant anymore. That transition between inside baby and outside baby is scary! I know I can take care of him while he's inside, but what's it going to be like once I can't feel him kick anymore? I'm sure that once he's here I won't feel like anymore. A and I both really want to meet him!

In the past week we have been finding small pee spots on the carpet in our office. For the longest time we couldn't figure out who was doing it. The spots seemed too small to come from the dog, and we just kind of assumed that Coheed was doing it because his box wasn't clean enough. But then we cleaned the cat box and there still continued to be spots randomly throughout the day.

Turns out that Oreo is the culprit. She squatted right in front of A the other night. Last night, she did it in front of me. Here's the thing. We've been taking her out the same amount, maybe even more. We have been paying the same amount of attention to her too. We think that this is her way of acting out about Daven getting ready to come. She only piddles a very small amount, and she'll do it sometimes immediately after being taken outside. Also, she doesn't do it during the day when we're not here, or when someone else, like A's dad is here. So I don't think that it's a control problem. Plus, she only ever does it in the office, nowhere else.

It's very irritating. She gets up in the middle of the night and makes all kinds of spots. Thankfully Resolve cleans it. But we don't know what to do to get her to stop. A was home half a day today while the contractor guy was mudding the drywall and Oreo didn't do anything. So maybe it's just in response to me. I do know that any time A hugs me for too long or rubs/kisses my belly, Oreo freaks her shit. ::sigh:: I love you, puppy.

Tomorrow Daven will officially be full term! Hooray!

False alarm

After A got up and I was still feeling really bad, he said that he really wanted me to go to the hospital just in case. So in we went. They registered us pretty quickly and sent me up to L&D. I got in a gown and they hooked me up to the monitors. The nurse did an internal check - no dilation.

The nurse said she would be back in an hour to see. Then she left. Did she give me any tissues to wipe up the ungodly amount of lube she used on me? No. And there wasn't a tissue in sight. I felt violated and goopy.

So I laid there for an hour. Still was in lots of pain. Daven started kicking the monitor and that made loud noises.

After what seemed like forever, the nurse came back in with my release papers.

"Come back in when you're really in labor".

"So I wasn't having contractions?"

"No."

"Well then what do you call it?"

"Being pregnant."

"I am in considerable pain though."

"You can take Tylenol for that."

"Tylenol doesn't help at all."

"You're pregnant. Can't take other stuff. Deal with it."

I think I need to give Wayne Brady a call so he can come choke a bitch.

I mean, I know she's just doing her job and she deals with this kind of situation all of the time, but she knew that this is my first and you would think I could have gotten a little sympathy. I guess not.

So I'm back home now. Still feeling pretty cruddy. A just left to go get us some lunch. I sure hope this pain goes away soon!

6 and a half minutes

That's how far apart my contractions are right now. I've been in pain ever since I woke up this morning.

**WARNING** Some of this might be tmi...

Last night before bed A and I had sex. (and it was nice)

I had trouble staying to sleep, but that's nothing new. Every time I woke up to go the bathroom, it hurt really bad like I wasn't going to be able to hold it, even though I had just gone an hour ago. But even though there wasn't much pee to speak of most of the time, that feeling went away after I went, and I was able to fall back to sleep.

This morning I woke up to a contraction, and when I got up to go to the bathroom, I noticed that there was a bit of dried blood in my underwear. That was definitely scary. Although I tried not to panic, because we did have sex last night, and I've heard that once you start to dilate, you can bleed.

So I'm sitting in the living room now with the tv on, trying to time these contractions with this app on my iPhone. A is still asleep. I hope he won't be mad that I haven't woken him up, but I figured that if there's any chance that today might be the day, he's going to need all the sleep he can get.

This is so surreal. I feel like it shouldn't be happening. And maybe it isn't - who knows. All I know is that I'm not ready for this. We haven't preregistered. The hospital bag isn't packed. None of Daven's clothes have been washed.

What I know is that it feels like my lower back might break and that my ute wants to fall out. Like really bad period pains, but lower. Daven is still squirming around in there though, so I think he's ok. He's probably hungry!

Hold me - I'm scared!

Snow days!

I have quite enjoyed these past two days because I haven't had to go to work! The snow that they predicted actually came in for once! I know that I was only back at work for 3 days, but damn it felt like a long time and I was ready for a break. Especially considering that I didn't even leave work on Wed. until 6:30. Yeah, that's almost a full 12 hours at school. Clearly I do not get paid enough!

I took these pictures from our upstairs (almost nursery!) This is our backyard.





Hopefully my aunt and cousin made it safely back to Hawaii. I hope their flight this morning didn't get delayed. I did get to spend some time with them throughout these past 2 weeks, and I even brought them over to see the house, even though it's currently a disaster!

Yesterday I had my appointment. It's every week from here on out. I gained 1 pound, which means that so far I've gained a total of 3. Still not sure exactly how many I've lost before this though. Heartbeat is still sounding good. It seems like everything is on track. I don't think my doctor starts internal exams as early as others do. So I couldn't tell you if anything is progressing down there yet.

What I can tell you is that I have been having Braxton Hicks contractions and they SUCK. While they are still pretty inconsistent, they hurt like hell when they do happen. Earlier today when A and I were out running errands, I had 4 in the span of about an hour. It's actually quite embarrassing to have to stop where ever I am and hold my stomach.

Daven should be 6 pounds by now! As big as a crenshaw melon. Is this the first time you've heard of this melon too, or is it just me?


Since I completely forgot to take my pic yesterday, here I am today, a day late. But you get a bonus - I have towel head!





There is now less than a week until Daven is considered full term. This means that really he could come out at any time. Ahhh! I guess that means that I really should pack a bag. And go get some nursing bras. I'm starting to really get nervous. When I first got pregnant, I just decided that I wasn't going to think about the whole labor and delivery process. It's kind of gotten to the point where I can't ignore it anymore!

The nursery is still being worked on. Now the drywall is up, although it still has to be mudded and sanded and all that. Then we have to paint. A and I picked out some color swatches today. After that, the carpet goes in. We bought that today, and it is scheduled to be installed Jan 20. We still have to purchase and install a toilet and sink for the half bath. I think that after all that is done, then it's just moving all the furniture and crap upstairs, which is easier said than done. Phew!

But enough worrying about things I can't control. We're having Maido for dinner!

Hallelujah, my shower went well! After all that anxiety, it ended up being a lot of fun. I never expected to get so much stuff for Daven either. I seriously don't have enough room to put all the stuff!

A lot of A's family was there. Also, mom's friend, my aunt and cousin and grandpa's wife came.

A big shout out to Shelbs and her mommy for coming - I love you, Shelby and am so glad to still have you as my friend. I promise to be there for you for all of your big moments too.

We found out that my belly is 14 pieces of toilet paper wide. Also, baby food smells awful! Ok, so I didn't actually have to smell any of the jars like everyone else, but their faces spoke loud and clear!

There is no way that I can remember off the top of my head what all we got, but here's a few things:

Crib and mattress
Swing
Bouncer
Organizers
Bedding
Diaper bags
Lots of cute clothes and burpie cloths

I've got to go out and get some thank you notes and get those going. I definitely want to have those out in the mail before Daven gets here! Although I'm having a hard time finding a moment for myself since work started back to school today. I didn't get home until 5 today. I took the dog out, A and I got dinner, I took a shower, and then I worked on school shit until 10. This is ridiculous!

I am really trying not to stress about work, but it's hard not to, thinking about all the things that need to get done before I leave. And what if Daven comes early? But what if he comes late? I just need to be able to plan better.

Ok, bladder, you really need to cool it. I'm seriously tired of all the peeing that has been happening. It's not fun. I'm back to the point where I can just sit there in the bathroom like I'm taking a #2, reading a book. I shouldn't have to pee that much! Argh!

There was more that I wanted to talk about, but it's late and I'm cold and I haven't had a chance to cuddle with A yet today. Night.

Having a shower makes me feel guilty

So my shower is this afternoon. After all the waiting and worrying and thinking that I wouldn't have a shower, I am indeed having one. So why do I feel so unsettled about it?

I feel guilty, like I don't deserve to have a shower. Like A and I should be able to get all of these things ourselves. I don't like having to rely on other people. As much as I try, I just seem to find myself in a bad mood this morning.

Out of all my friends that I invited, one has rsvp'ed. And even then I feel bad because she is so busy and I know that it's not easy for her to come across the river to spend time with me on the weekend.

I'm a bit nervous about how my mom and my aunt from Hawaii are going to act being around one another. They have both made it very clear to me that one does not like the other, but since my aunt and cousin are in town for once, I really wanted them to be there. My mom was not happy when I told her that they would be there.

Funny thing is, it's her side of the family that is flaking out. My aunt, cousin, and uncle's long-time gf all from her side of the family aren't coming because there's a basketball game on this afternoon. My aunt lied about why she couldn't come to my mom, and then mom found out from my grandpa that they were all getting together this afternoon at her house to watch the big game. Nice. I hate to say that I hold a grudge, but the next time I'm asked to be a supportive member of the family I'm going to remember this.

And then I feel guilty about being mad. Showers kind of suck for everyone except the person opening the gifts. Why should anyone want to come? Bah.

Ok, I should stop bitching and get ready for my day. Hopefully I can get out of this funk before this afternoon!

New Years flying kitty

Earlier today my cat scared the shit out of me. Not the normal "I'm meowing and you don't know what's wrong with me" or "No one knows why I keep throwing up". No, this was far worse of a scare.

Our upstairs is still being renovated in hopes that we can have our bedroom and the nursery up there. Yes, time is running out. I know. But the shit's being worked on.

So A was in the bathroom getting out of the shower and I was in the living room watching an episode of Law and Order that of course, I had already seen. I heard a really big BOOM, followed by a very loud MEOW. I ran into the dining room to find a ceiling tile on the floor and my cat, Coheed hanging from said ceiling. WTF?! There were wires hanging everywhere and while I was trying to reach him, he was swinging back and forth, getting all tangled. I finally got his back legs and then he fell onto a tupperware box full of Halloween stuff that was sitting in the dining room. Luckily he landed on his feet and after I held him for a few minutes and checked him out, he appears to be ok. It took me forever to breathe normal again and for my heart to stop beating overtime.




So, it seems that he was upstairs, snuck through one of those holes, jumped on the ceiling tile, and then held on for dear life when that tile fell. Poor kitty. I hope he's learned his lesson! At least once the drywall gets put up, there won't be any more holes. What is Coheed doing now, you might ask?


Sleeping in his favorite chair. Thank goodness he's ok! Happy New Year!

Yesterday marked a very important moment in my pregnancy - 35/35. This means that yesterday I was 35 weeks pregnant with 35 days left to go. Holy shit! We are getting so close!

How big is Daven? He should be weighing over 5 pounds now - a honeydew melon!







Yesterday, we were supposed to go out to A's friend's house to celebrate New Year's Eve, but I wasn't feeling well enough. Yesterday was the first day that I really experienced Braxton Hicks contractions. It hurt! Apparently these are practice contractions. If so, then I'll be asking for an epidural at the hospital for sure!

I have also not been sleeping worth crap. I toss and turn all night, get up just about every hour to pee, and wake up in the morning feeling as if I hadn't slept at all. I've been having to keep the tv on all night as well, because I've been having bad dreams. Night before last I dreamed that some man came into my house and killed all of my furbabies. It felt so real - I couldn't even nap yesterday because it was still in my head. I'm going to be in trouble come Monday when I have to go back to work. I fear that this last month of working before Daven gets here will not be pleasant or easy.

My shower is tomorrow! The sucky thing is that the weather is supposed to turn bad tomorrow. I hope some people show up!

Ugh, my Taco Bell lunch isn't exactlty agreeing with me. Time to lay down.