It's a peach!

The baby is the size of a peach now. 13 weeks today! Only a few more days until I'm officially onto 2nd tri. Lets just hope that my sickness goes away and I can actually start accomplishing things again.

Last night was the first time in a long while that I felt good enough to go out to eat. We went with A's sister to Maidos. Although I will still bummed that I couldn't have any sushi with raw fish, it was still good. So I woke up this morning thinking that it's all behind me now, being all optimistic and wishing and all that crap. Nope. Still had a hard time eating lunch and keeping it down.

Now I'm just sleepy and cramping. Neither is this headache. Oh well. Nothing new.

Thank goodness that is over

Well wouldn't you know it, just as I thought - he changed the subject to pester me about my certification. I swear if I had known that it was going to cause so many problems going to college in one state and teaching in another, I would have stayed in-state. It's not worth it. Even though I have passed all the tests to teach in Kentucky, I can only get a Kentucky license if I teach there. And since I am teaching in Indiana, I have to get certified for here, and they require two different additional Praxis exams to get the paper work cleared. F my life. He says it has to be done my next month. And I don't even know if I have the money, nor the time to brush up on my math, to take the damn things. But it must be done. And the whole time I was in his office I was scratching away at the eczema on my fingers. Super.

Other than that, my principle seemed to take the news rather well. He said that back quite a few years ago, there were 3 or 4 teachers a year out on leave at the same time, so surely this means that we can manage just me, right? He said congratulations and that he was happy for me, and asked how much time I was planning on taking off. I asked him how much I got, and apparently the only time I actually get are the sick days I have accumulated over the past two years. Great. I've spent my first 2 years teaching being sick constantly. Although I was pretty bad and didn't always fill out the paper work for those days, so we'll see how many I've got. I'll start with 11 days for this school year, although something tells me I'm not going to get halfway through the school year without missing any time due to sickness and doctor's appointments.

Hopefully since I'm on A's insurance, I will be able to get some additional time. I really don't want to be docked pay because I'm out on maternity leave! Hopefully this issue will get cleared up soon.

One good thing I learned is that I won't have to have detailed lesson plans for the whole approximate 6 weeks I'll be gone. I'll have to do a detailed plan for the first week I'm out, and then that, just a rough guideline for my performance groups. Then the sub is responsible for the rest of the plans. That's a relief!

I stepped into my classroom before I left school today and it is a wreck! Totally not how I left it at the beginning of the summer! Whoever has been using my room needs to put everything back where they found it!

Also, I got a new (old) desk which is great, because my desk now only has three legs attached. Bad for me also though, because now I'll have to actually clean out the desk. Plus, I'll have to beg someone to move the desks for me since I can't do it myself.

So the first day of teacher inservice is this Wed. I knew that. But what I hadn't kept track of was when registration is going to be - yikes - this Sunday. So my classroom has to appear to be ready by this weekend. And the people working on the bathroom are going to be here all the rest of this week. How am I going to be 2 places at once? The primary teachers have their aids to help decorate their classrooms. Plus, they only have to decorate for one age group. Although I wouldn't want their jobs so I'll shut up.

I'm not ready for summer to be over, even if it has been rough!

Getting ready to leave to go tell my boss

I'll try to get on here a little later and write about how it went. I'm really nervous about telling my principle. Everyone says that I have nothing to worry about, that it's good news and he's sure to be happy about it. Still, I feel like he's going to take this meeting as an opportunity to get on me about all the things that I haven't done yet (like figure out my certification and take that one Praxis test that I've been too sick to take this summer). I keep trying to come up with excuses in my head not to go, but I know I just need to get it over with. Here goes...

I think it's going to be a long day

I woke up this morning feeling - *shocker* - like total crap. I was laying in bed watching Tom and Jerry while A was in the shower. I didn't realize that he was supposed to be over at his parents so early, but he was in a hurry to leave and didn't seem like he was in a good mood. He cleaned the cat box since our cat Coheed keeps pooping outside the box. He comes to tell me goodbye and then he noticed that one of the cats had thrown up up the comforter I was covered up in. He left the house in a bad mood. I laid in bed and cried after he left. I feel like I can't do anything right.

Now I'm just in an awful mood. Nothing is going right. I could barely eat one piece of bread, my head hurts, and I am tired of feeling pregnant. There. I said it. I want to be able to enjoy a meal. I want to be able to finish my book without having to suffer through a headache. I don't want A to look at me like I'm pathetic and worthless anymore. I want to get a good night's sleep. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and not dread the day. I want to get out of the house and not have to worry about where the nearest bathroom is. I want to go out to eat. I want to drink a beer. I want to eat raw sushi. I don't want to feel like I'm a burden on everyone anymore. I want to get out of this funk. Help...

Another day, another headache and other ramblings

I think I am going to have to call the doctor on Monday. I have seriously had this headache for about a week now. I can only take Tylenol, and even when I take that with caffeine, it doesn't help. It starts at my eyes and goes all the way to the back of my head. Fun. Even makes my ears hurt. Yay.

Now that I write this, I wonder if I said this exact thing in my last post where I was whining. Hmmm. Oh well.

I managed to do two loads of laundry today. All of A's work clothes are washed and hung up to dry. I still probably have another load to do though, because although I emptied the hamper, I have a pile of dirty clothes on my side of the bed. I noticed when I was hanging clothes up that most of it was A's. I guess I need to start aiming for the hamper more.

Yesterday A and I went to Home Depot and got the paint for our bathroom. We are going with a beach theme in there, so the bottom half of the walls is going to be a deep tan/light brown and the top half a bright shade of blue. Then I'm going to get some white shelves to put up. I could tell that the in-laws didn't really like the colors. I try not to take them too seriously, even though it's hard. I'm hoping that once they see it up on the walls and all put together they won't mind. Even if they do, it is mine and A's house, not theres. True, we may be renting from them, but we are also intending to buy the house too, so that should count for something.

Another event happened yesterday, and it scared the shit out of me. The guy who is in charge of doing our bathroom was here working and since the cereal I had planned to eat was stale, I wanted to go to McDonalds to get some breakfast. I let him know that I was going - I even asked him if he wanted anything! I go and get my egg and cheese biscuit and everything is fine. When I turn onto my street coming back, who do I see roaming a neighbor's yard? My dog Oreo! The guy had somehow let her out! I rolled down my window and called her name and she came to me. But when I opened the door and called for her to get in, she looked at me like she didn't know me. I had to put the car in park and had to get out, pick her up, and put her in my car. When I got back into to the house and checked to make sure the cats were still here, I asked the guy if he knew that he had let my dog out and did he leave the sliding glass door open. All he said was, "Oh, Oreo was probably just visiting her neighborhood dog friends down the street". Um, no, she wasn't. She isn't a dog that you can trust off her leash. She was confused. I was livid.

All day I've been thinking that it's Sunday. Don't know why. I was just sitting here wondering why it was taking A so long to eat with his family when I realized, oh, it's Saturday and they probably had to wait. I wasn't feeling good enough to go and didn't want to try it since last Saturday A had to take me home while we were waiting for a table at Olive Garden. Plus, they were going to Tumble Weed and that place makes me poop. So I'm just sitting here waiting for my queso and hoping that I will be able to eat it once it gets here.

It must be my luck that the third Harry Potter movie just came on. I finished that book last week. I'm about halfway through the 4th one now. I would already be done if I hadn't been dealing with such a bad headache.

I suppose I'm done rambling for now. Plus, I have to pee and my head is pounding. Hmmm, pound cake sounds good.

Damnit! Why do I do this? I tell you, commercials are going to get the best of me. All I have to do is see it on tv, hear someone say it, or even say something that reminds me of it. I can't even remember all the things I wanted last night. None of them were feasible, of course.

Ok, now I'm done. Seriously.

Hooded baby towels

I really think the idea of hooded baby bath towels and think that they are adorable. I definitely want to get some for my little one sometime before he or she arrives. I'm sure there are a TON of cute ones out there. These are just a few that I found while browsing the internet.

Luvable Friends Super-soft hooded bath towel
Amazon.com
$12.99

Luvable friends 3-pack patches hooded towels, yellow
Amazon.com
$12.99



Way Cute Kids Stuff
Dalmatian Hooded Baby Towel
http://www.waycutekids.com/view_image.php?id=33
$34

196 days to go!

Even though each day seems to crawl by as I'm still feeling terrible, 196 days really isn't that far away! I just wish that I felt well enough to get some of these chores around the house done. The dishes have been sitting there for so long we're out of clean spoons. I suck. And I'm not sure how A keeps finding clean work clothes, because I keep letting the laundry slip. Once school starts back, A will have to share the duties, but since I'm not working over this summer break, I really didn't mind taking care of things around the house. I mean, if I could be a stay at home mom, I would be in charge of all that. But alas, every day I feel like I've been run over by a bus and can barely manage to get myself up to walk to the bathroom.

Our main bathroom is being redone, and so right now we have to shower and potty in the poop room as I call it, or the tiny bathroom in the back of the house connected to our bedroom and laundry area. It's hard enough that the toilet is in this nook so small you can barely reach around to wipe your arse, but since it's where the cat box has been stored, there is just no way for it to be really clean. The smell is terrible. I have to breathe through my mouth any time I go in there. I had a pretty sensitive nose even before getting pregnant, and it has only gotten worse. Of course, A can't smell it, so it ends up just being my problem. Oh and I almost forgot, the toilet has been leaking into the basement so now every time I need to flush the toilet I have to bend over and reach around to the bottom back to turn on the water, wait for it to finish flushing, then turn it off again. A's dad said he was going to fix it, but his family is in Chicago for the rest of the week. Great.

And what are they doing in Chicago? Well this afternoon they were eating at Bubba Gumps. I discovered this place for the first time when we were with A's family in Florida for Spring break. They had one outside of Universal Studios. They have the most delicious seafood that I have ever eaten in my life. When we went I had the crab legs and A's chilly shrimp that he didn't want from his plate. And then I finished his sister's shrimp. Yeah, and I wasn't even pregnant.

So the closest Bubba Gumps to us is in Chicago, still pretty damn far away. I have been craving it for a long time now. I'm pretty sure since about the beginning of the pregnancy I have been dreaming about their chilly shrimp and delicious cocktail sauce. So when A's mom texted me to tell me that's where they were eating, I cried. I'm not kidding you, I cried. I don't know why. I don't even have the appetite right now and I most certainly don't want to drive all that way just to eat at one place. But it made me sad anyway. And I have been in a funk all afternoon.

I can feel my stomach pulling and growing, and it doesn't feel good at all. I knew I would get all stretchy, but I guess I never really thought about what it would feel like. I know it is just going to get worse. I'm wondering when I am going to be able to enjoy being pregnant. I can't imagine telling my little one down the road, "Oh sweetie, yes we planned to have you, but momma was miserable the whole time". It has to get better. Has to.

A needs his wife back. He needs his work clothes cleaned. I need to feel human again. I need to stop feeling like my head is in a vice and my stomach is going through the wash cycle. ::sigh::

There are so many women out there right now who are trying and trying and can't get pregnant, and I should thank my lucky stars that I have a bun in the oven. I'm trying, I promise.

1st tri just sucks

I know A and I have said that we want 2 kids, but I really don't know how I'm going to go through all this again. I guess it was silly of me to think that being pregnant could be enjoyable in the beginning. Don't get me wrong - I'm glad that I'm knocked up, but I am so tired of not having any control over my body!

Yesterday I threw up again. I had just made myself a cup of coconut tea and taken a bite of cinnamon bread. I barely made it to the kitchen garbage can. And there were people in the house working on our bathroom so I was embarrassed to say the least. Oreo stole my piece of bread while I was in the kitchen. Not that I would have finished it anyway. Thankfully I noticed rather quickly that I had somehow turned the gas on the stove on. That would have been bad if I hadn't smelled it. I managed not to get sick the rest of the day, although I was in a lot of pain. I slept a lot.

Today I've been alright so far. I've drank a cup of Sunny D and eaten a piece of cinnamon bread. We're almost out - only one piece left! I'll have to go back to Great Harvest and get some more. A really likes it too, and it's something easy to snack on between meals.

A didn't go to work today because he said he feels sick. He's still in bed. I hope he's ok. I also hope that I don't catch whatever he has, because being pregnant is about all I can handle.

My boobs itch so bad I can't stand it. They have finally gotten to the point where they only hurt when I am laying down to sleep, but now they itch like crazy! They're all red and gross looking too, because the blood vessels on boobs break a lot easier than on other parts of your body. TMI? Sorry.

Don't get me wrong, those few people who read my blog. I am very blessed to be pregnant and am excited about being a mommy. I just can't seem to make myself be one of those people who enjoys everyday and is happy about morning sickness because that means the baby is still there. I'm tired, I've had a headache for almost a week now, and I'm starting to think I may never eat like normal again. But I am pregnant and have a little boy or girl growing inside me. I just keep chanting "it's worth it, it's worth it".

A huge shout out to my mother-in-law who despite the summer season, made me a pumpkin pie that I had been craving so badly. Yum!

What is happening to my belly button?

I had a freak out moment this morning when I was getting ready to take a shower. I had the water running and getting ready to get in when my belly button itched. I went to scratch it and what do I notice? It's all read and swollen! And I have purple stretch marks around it. Huh? No, not yet! I really figured that since I'm such a, well, full figured kind of woman that I wouldn't notice any pregnancy growth besides the regular bloat for a long time. Apparently I was wrong. Now my button hurts. I know that's weird, but it's true.

I've heard that Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter is a good to rub on your belly. Plus, it's supposed to smell like honey, so I really want to get some. I looked in Target the other day, but even though they appear to have every product under the sun, they do not carry this particular product. So I go to the website and what do you know, it's out of stock! So what's a girl to do?

I have a sad button.

1st appointment was today!

It seems that summer has all of a sudden gone so quickly! Of course, not day by day when I'm in agonizing pain! But today was the day - 11 weeks! Thank goodness A was able to go into work late so that he could come with me. Not only did I need someone to hold my hand while I was getting blood taken, but I wanted him there to hear the heartbeat.

So we go into the building, up to the second floor, and into a very nice waiting room area that they call the living room. I sign in and hand them my new patient info that I'd printed and filled out ahead of time. They gave me forms for two tests that I could opt to have, an HIV and a cystic fibrosis blood test, but I said no thanks. I know that I don't have HIV, and if I had the other thing, there's nothing they could do anyway. And it's not like I'm going to give the thing up or terminate it for any reason. Plus, call me a p***y but I really didn't want any more blood than necessary taken.

I feel like we're waiting forever, but we really didn't wait that long. When we got called back, they weighed me, took my blood pressure and made me pee in a cup. Then it was a few questions in the exam room before I was told to take off my pants. You should have seen the look on A's face. Even though he knew it was coming and that yes, I would have to take off my pants for this visit, it didn't make it any less awkward for him. Or me, to be honest. Unless I'm getting into the shower or A and I are (ahem) spending some time together, my pants stay on.

So I hop back up on the table and attempt to cover my wide arse with the paper towel sheet. A just looks at me and shakes his head. I thought to myself, hey, at least your privates aren't about to get invaded! Beth, our midwife comes in shortly after, and she is really nice right off the bat. I admitted that I was still a little uneasy with my pants off and she told me about one of her patients who had a 3 year old little boy that was screaming and crying because his mommy had her pants off and he kept begging her to put her pants back on. I hope he never catches daddy with mommy then!!

The whole time we were there, I kept dreading the blood draw. It made me so nervous during everything else. As weepy and sentimental as I've been, you would think that I would have cried when we heard the heartbeat. But I was too worried about what was coming next! It was fun though, getting to hear. When she gelled me and put the doppler on, I kept thinking, is that it? Is that it? There were all kinds of swooshy sounds coming from the machine. At last, very low and to the left, she found him/her. A little one, with a heartbeat twice as fast as mine. Hooray! I could tell that A was happy. And even though it didn't cross my mind at that time, we are both very relieved that there is only one baby in there!

Then comes the icky stuff. Pap smear with the speculum or whatever it's called - ouch! Feeling the uterus - ouch! Then back out to the "living room" to wait to have my blood drawn. It took the lab tech forever to find a vein, but thank goodness she took her time to do so. I hate when they poke around just to try to get it done faster! A held my hand and the woman talked to me about my baby while she very quickly took 3 viles of blood. my arm crack sure hurts now!



I felt a little wobbly in the elevator back down, but other than that I was fine. They gave me a baggie of goodies - turns out its mostly a bag of ads and crap. The cats keep trying to bite the handles of the bag. Goobers. Then A took me to McDonalds and I had some hotcakes. I really don't know if I have ever had them from there before, but they were yummy. Then A dropped me off and went off to work. I've love to take a nap, but American Windows is putting on new siding on the house and the constant hammering is going to prevent such a nap.

All in all, it's a pretty good day so far. And guess what? The baby is the size of a lime now!

If it's a girl, then I want this!

Another diaper bag to add to the list. I love cherry blossoms, and this is the best cherry blossom bag I've found so far to pack all the little one's stuff in. The bad news? It's $135 + shipping. FAIL. I honestly can't see myself spending this much money on a diaper bag. But I can dream, right? Found it babymacgifts.com

Item# BMD-DB3

Yesterday...

sucked. By far the worst day of this pregnancy yet. The strange thing was, I woke up feeling pretty good. I made myself some oatmeal, sat down in my recliner and turned on the tv. I got about halfway through my bowl and it just hit me. My dog Oreo ate the rest of my oatmeal while I was busy saying goodbye to it. GROSS. The consistency of oatmeal is definitely not fun when it immediately comes right back up.

A few hours later my stomach was growling, but I wasn't sure how it was really settling, so I had one of my blue raspberry Icee cups. Hmm. At least it was a fun color! After that one, I managed to take about an hour nap. Sweet misery.

I am so fecking sick of Saltine crackers I could scream. They're salty and dry and bleh.

Finally around 9:30, I had some mashed potatoes from KFC and those stayed down. Thank goodness. After that, it took me until about 2 am to get to sleep.

Thankfully, today is going better so far. I've kept down two pieces of toast with jam.

Oh, and the best thing ever that I crave everyday now? Dr. Pepper. Delicious.

I would just like to eat like a normal person again, ok?

I really don't know how A puts up with me. Every night it's the same thing: he'll ask me what I want for dinner, I'll say I don't know, that nothing sounds good, and then 2 hours later after I'm in tears from stomach pains, we'll finally figure something out. I really wish he didn't have to wait on me to eat!

For whatever reason, the belly baby doesn't like meat. I can't eat meat at all. I've tried. I can't. So this, combined with the fact that I'm still a hermit and don't want to actually go anywhere for my food means extremely limited options for dinner.

I can't do milk or any dairy-based foods either. No cereal, no ice cream, no potato soup, no decaf chai.
So WTH can I eat? Eggos, toast, muffins, bagels, cry cereal, crackers, pasta...

Maybe the baby is going to come out looking like a big loaf of bread. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a giant loaf of homemade bread!

I took a long-ass nap earlier, because I had to get up early to teach my voice lesson this morning. I really don't know what I'm going to do when I have to go back to work next month. I'll make it through one half hour class and then just pass out on the floor. I don't think I would be able to keep my job that way!


I also really want a big plastic bottle of Dr. Pepper. ::drools:: I'd like to think that I have been really good so far about caffeine. Before getting pregnant, I was up to 3 energy drinks a day to keep me going at work (yikes, I know). Now I only have one per week. Ok, so maybe that won't be true if I don't hold out and go down the street to the Save a Step and get me some Dr. but I'm trying really hard! And 200 - 300 mg a day is acceptable supposedly. Although since I'm not eating much more than bread right now, I should probably try harder to be healthy. ::sighs:: I just can't eat anything my tummy tells me not to!

1 week and 1 day until my first appointment! Scary.

Have I mentioned that being pregnant makes me feel stupid?

I have no idea what to title this post

So things have been pretty rough lately. I have a constant tummy ache, I can't eat much of anything, and I've become a hermit. I don't want to leave the house, mostly because I don't want to be caught in public when I'm feeling bad. Like last week when A and I went to Kobe and sat at the sushi bar - I felt awful once we got there. I sipped on the broth of my Miso soup and drank my water, and even still, I was in the bathroom wondering if I was going to hurl. (Thankfully I did not.) I guess the sushi puts things into perspective for A because I love it more than life itself. Ok, not really that much, but I pretty much obsess over it. It took me forever to choke down one yum yum roll, when normally I can go through the sushi like a pro. ::sigh:: When we go to Madio, sometimes I can't even finish one roll.

In the morning, I have some safe food, like dry cinnamon toast, a bagel, or Eggos. Lunch is normally the worst, and I generally don't end up eating much. Then A comes home and every night he asks me what I want for diner. I never know, and a lot of times I don't want to eat anything at all, but he won't eat without me. It's really sweet of him, but I really wish that he would just eat! I know it has to suck always waiting for me to eat.

Yesterday was the firs time I've actually gotten sick. I went over to my parent's house and I decided that I was going to shave before I went swimming. I mega cut myself and almost passed out because of all the blood. Mom had to help me clean up my leg. Then I barfed. Not fun. After that I spent the next couple of hours napping in my parent's bed. Bleh.

I need a nap. Or something. I don't even know. I'm just in a funk right now and I'm not quite sure how to get back out.