Today has really been a test of my emotional strength so far. I've failed.

I think I wrote yesterday about how my principal f-ed up my meeting with my sub. Well I got an email from him first thing this morning saying that he scheduled it for tomorrow. Fine, except that Thursdays are my hardest day and he scheduled it for my one and only break of the day. It was hard enough for me to go non-stop in second tri but at 9 months? I sat at my desk and cried and cried like a damn baby.

Then as my 5th graders were coming in for art, I started having this awful pain. Sharp, stabbing in my ute and back. Then I felt like I was going to throw up. Then pass out. Luckily I did neither and after a few minutes it subsided. And fortunately, I haven't felt that bad since. But really? Come on, this is getting ridiculous!

A little bit later, I noticed that my ring finger was throbbing in pain. I tugged on my rings. Stuck. Fuck. So I had to get some lotion and take them off. This immediately made me want to cry. I know that a lot of women have to take their rings off, and at earlier points in their pregnancies too. But I thought that since I was in the home stretch that I would be able to keep them on. Now my finger feels naked and bruised. I have my rings on my necklace, but it makes me so sad that they are not on my finger! ::holds back tears::

And we're just before 10:30 am. All of this, and the work day is not near over yet. Fuck.

I have a feeling that tomorrow at my Dr.'s appointment I'm going to be begging her to write me a note. As much as I wanted to work up until Daven gets here, I cannot do my best teaching under these circumstances! I either want to snap at the kids or just cry in their faces.

"It's not time yet!"

Say it again, bitches! I dare you!

Did I mention that it feels like my nipples might fall off?

Daven, you're a big boy now, right? You're ready to come out, aren't you? Daddy is going crazy not having you here yet. He wants to hold you more than anything! We are ready to meet you! I know you're being stubborn right now. But think about it, ok? We love you!