Yes, I know I haven't posted anything about Halloween yet. Silly me relied on other people to take most of the pics, so I'm waiting on those to get put up on fb before I do my post about that. Still haven't decided if it will be on this blog or the other one. Guess you'll just have to check to find out!
I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster and the ride just fucking crashed. I am out of control. I cry at everything. I don't know how A puts up with it. He will say one small insignificant thing and I will start bawling my eyes out. I cry at sad things on tv. I cry at happy things on tv. I cry when there's a commercial on tv that I don't like. I need Prozac. Or tequila. Both? Don't fret though, guys. I'm not gunna. I love my baby Daven too much.
I am so frecking tired I can barely think straight to do a proper rant. Lets just say that today was a typical Monday, and I have been reassured that the other teachers in my school do not view my classes as equal in importance to theirs. I give them all a big middle finger. Two of them. Wish I had more to give.
This back ache bull shit has got to stop. It hurts so bad I cry in public. It hurts so bad that A has to help me step in and out of the shower. I can't bend down all the way. Every time I stand up, I'm afraid I might not be able to stay standing.
"It's only going to get worse, honey."
Bite my fucking ass, coworker. You were pregnant 20 years ago, so don't pretend like I'm just making this pain up. My principal gives me the side eye when he sees me sitting down in the classroom. ::middle finger::
I really wish that there was something I could do to make this pain stop. Tylenol doesn't do shit. Heat helps it for as long as I'm heated, but even then, I can't heat everywhere that hurts at the same time. And it's definitely a struggle trying to get out of bed in the middle of the night to pee.
And yes, I would like some cheese to go with the whine.
I'm supposed to meet A and his parents in an hour for dinner. I don't know if I'm going to make it. I'm struggling sitting at the computer right now. If I could manage getting in the shower myself, I would have already gone ahead and taken one so I could put my pjs on. I just don't see them eating somewhere that is good enough for me to want to leave the house again. I'm fighting back tears right now for no reason. And A's dad doesn't really handle me being emotional very well. He just makes fun of me and reminds us that we were the ones that decided to get pregnant.
My grandpa, love him, says that I am in a "delicate state". At least that's what he said when I called my uncle out on his bullshit towards my aunt last night. I get the visual that this means I'm like a wilting flower or something. Who knows. I'm definitely a time bomb for tears and cursing rants, though. That's for sure.
Fuck the Veteran's Day program next week.
Fuck the Christmas program.
I am so done being stressed about work. And I am done having to take it home with me every night. I am just done. I don't get paid enough for this.
Oh, and my left nipple has started to leak slightly. Enough to make my boobie sticky. Now this, I am certain, will get worse. ::sarcastic thumbs up::
F it in the A, y'all. F it in the A.
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