Yesterday we went to my grandpa's to visit. I think it made him really happy to have us over there. I know he's been having a rough time with his radiation treatment and everything. Daven slept the whole time. Actually, he slept basically the whole day!
Here's a picture that I managed to sneak while grandpa was holding him.
Damn my iPhone for not having zoom functionality on the camera! I'm hoping to get some better pics tomorrow when we go out to eat with the family.
In boob news, I am growing more and more frustrated with the whole breastmilk thing. I've had to pump 4 times (once yesterday and 3 today) just to get enough milk for Daven to eat once. I even feel bad for getting my boobs out for him anymore because he works so hard at it and it takes so much time. Plus, since it takes him about a half hour to finish a bottle now, it's just too time consuming to do both. So I've been pumping when I can and saving it, then giving him formula the rest of the time. At least Daven still doesn't mind. I just wish that I could let go of it and stop worrying about it.
I really hope that the Zoloft my OB put me on helps my anxiety soon. When we were at A's parent's house last night they sent me upstairs to try to get some sleep. But once I got there all I could do was worry. I couldn't relax - I was super tense. Apparently he had some gas and was crying downstairs. But since he was crying, I just felt like I had to go to him. Yes, he was fine, but it took everything I had to stay upstairs. Once I was actually able to go to sleep, I dreamed that he was crying and woke right back up.
When we were home he finally went down for the night, it still took me a good 20 minutes to be able to stop worrying and go to sleep. And when he wakes up 2 hours later, I'm really not getting much sleep.
I love Daven so much. I hope that I'm doing an alright job being his mommy.
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