196 days to go!

Even though each day seems to crawl by as I'm still feeling terrible, 196 days really isn't that far away! I just wish that I felt well enough to get some of these chores around the house done. The dishes have been sitting there for so long we're out of clean spoons. I suck. And I'm not sure how A keeps finding clean work clothes, because I keep letting the laundry slip. Once school starts back, A will have to share the duties, but since I'm not working over this summer break, I really didn't mind taking care of things around the house. I mean, if I could be a stay at home mom, I would be in charge of all that. But alas, every day I feel like I've been run over by a bus and can barely manage to get myself up to walk to the bathroom.

Our main bathroom is being redone, and so right now we have to shower and potty in the poop room as I call it, or the tiny bathroom in the back of the house connected to our bedroom and laundry area. It's hard enough that the toilet is in this nook so small you can barely reach around to wipe your arse, but since it's where the cat box has been stored, there is just no way for it to be really clean. The smell is terrible. I have to breathe through my mouth any time I go in there. I had a pretty sensitive nose even before getting pregnant, and it has only gotten worse. Of course, A can't smell it, so it ends up just being my problem. Oh and I almost forgot, the toilet has been leaking into the basement so now every time I need to flush the toilet I have to bend over and reach around to the bottom back to turn on the water, wait for it to finish flushing, then turn it off again. A's dad said he was going to fix it, but his family is in Chicago for the rest of the week. Great.

And what are they doing in Chicago? Well this afternoon they were eating at Bubba Gumps. I discovered this place for the first time when we were with A's family in Florida for Spring break. They had one outside of Universal Studios. They have the most delicious seafood that I have ever eaten in my life. When we went I had the crab legs and A's chilly shrimp that he didn't want from his plate. And then I finished his sister's shrimp. Yeah, and I wasn't even pregnant.

So the closest Bubba Gumps to us is in Chicago, still pretty damn far away. I have been craving it for a long time now. I'm pretty sure since about the beginning of the pregnancy I have been dreaming about their chilly shrimp and delicious cocktail sauce. So when A's mom texted me to tell me that's where they were eating, I cried. I'm not kidding you, I cried. I don't know why. I don't even have the appetite right now and I most certainly don't want to drive all that way just to eat at one place. But it made me sad anyway. And I have been in a funk all afternoon.

I can feel my stomach pulling and growing, and it doesn't feel good at all. I knew I would get all stretchy, but I guess I never really thought about what it would feel like. I know it is just going to get worse. I'm wondering when I am going to be able to enjoy being pregnant. I can't imagine telling my little one down the road, "Oh sweetie, yes we planned to have you, but momma was miserable the whole time". It has to get better. Has to.

A needs his wife back. He needs his work clothes cleaned. I need to feel human again. I need to stop feeling like my head is in a vice and my stomach is going through the wash cycle. ::sigh::

There are so many women out there right now who are trying and trying and can't get pregnant, and I should thank my lucky stars that I have a bun in the oven. I'm trying, I promise.