The great panty disaster

My regular underwear doesn't fit anymore. Not that I had that many good pairs of underwear to begin with (aren't I sexy?!) but I had to go on the search for more underwear.

I have a 4-pack of maternity underwear from Motherhood Maternity. They fit well, although they have these giant annoying tags on the left side that itch and stick out. Plus, this underwear wasn't cheap. At all. It wasn't even really reasonable. Ok, maybe for the ladies who buy the fancy panties at Victoria's Secret it would be, but not for me.

So the last time I was in Target, I thought I would try something different. Instead of spending the big bucks on the special underwear, I would just get regular underwear, but in a bigger size. This way, I could get twice as many pairs as the other ones! I got one pack of regular cotton panties and one pack of boy shorts. This is what I ended up with:


Not kidding! Down to the color and everything! These bad boys can go all the way up to my belly button without even trying! And talk about ugly! Good thing I'm already pregnant, because I don't think I'll be getting any while wearing these enormous bloomers! I'm wearing my maternity skirt today, you know the kind with the high, stretchy waistbands of comfort. Well, my underwear goes up to the top of that! But if I bunch it back down to where it should be, then it looks funny outside of my dress clothes.

What about the boy shorts, you may ask. I actually tried those first, earlier this week. Your answer: my ass eats them. Yep, my ass has them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I was constantly having to catch myself from picking wedgies in front of my students. This is what it felt like:

Yes, it felt like someone with questionable gender was pulling my undies up my ass and force-feeding it.

So the lesson of the day: don't be a cheap ass. Buy the stupid maternity underwear. That is, unless you never want to be comfortable or ever get laid again.

TGIF!

Thank baby Jeebus that it is Friday afternoon. It has been such a long, trying week. Hopefully I don't feel like crap this weekend so I can actually go out and do something fun. It seems that lately I've felt just as sick on the weekends as I do at work during the week. Not fun!

I figured I would post this since it's about time I posted a pic. I took this today in our crappy faculty bathroom. This is me at 17 weeks 1 day.

Who eats turnips?

The baby is the size of a turnip today. A turnip? Who eats turnips? How was this even a vegetable to think of when coming up with comparisons? I've never eaten a turnip before in my life. Although it kind of looks like a while potato. At least there's no question here about size issues - this is clearly larger than an avocado.

Things have continued down the shit train here. I'm overly emotional, crying all the time, and still can't eat. Last night I couldn't even sleep. And once I got to sleep, I had this nightmare that I was dying. For some reason, I had to have this physical test done by this one-clawed demon in brown to see whether or not I was a good person. I kept putting off the last step of the test and trying to get away because if it found that you were bad, you died. And one of my arms had already been cut off by this demon thing. Then I got away, but they said if you did that, you would be stung to death by these giant flying things. I just kept wondering the whole time what I had done that was so wrong that I had to die. How can you wake up refreshed after that?

I think I may have to get fake rings to wear if it doesn't cool down soon and my fingers continue to swell. I can't get my rings off my fingers right now. Some people get fake rings, or just cheap little rings in a bigger size so that it doesn't look like they are an unwed mother. And Lord knows that people would judge me, working in a Catholic school. I don't want to take mine off, but I also wouldn't want to have them cut off my finger because of swelling either.

I have no motivation for anything. I can't plan on my planning period. I am afraid if I go home after my last class, I won't be able to force myself to come back for open house tonight. I don't care about making my class look nice or having that stupid handout for the parents like my boss wanted, or making sure that stuff is decorated in the hall. I don't want to talk to parents like I care because I don't.

Only 3 more weeks and I'm officially halfway through this pregnancy. Doesn't that mean I should be able to find just a tiny bit of relief? Please? I don't want to feel sick, sad and tired anymore. I want to be able to do my job. I want to be able to smile at my husband and not always be such a downer. Why can't I just be happy?

A silly prediction

There are all kinds of silly old wives tale quizzes online that you can take to try to predict whether you are having a boy or a girl. This particular one says that I am having a girl, 83%. We'll hopefully find out in a few more weeks whether it's right or wrong. I have a feeling that it is going to be a girl, although I would be thrilled if it's a boy, too. But I guess whatever mommy intuition I have tells me that it's going to be a girl.

I really wish that A was coming straight home tonight. He's going to mod a friend's xbox, and that always takes longer than he plans. It's hard enough with me being so emotional that we are apart all day at work. But I'm not sure what time he will be home tonight. Then tomorrow night I have open house, and Friday night he has to work at the fair. Then this weekend I'm sure he'll go play golf, which is fine, except I'll be home all alone. I wish I wasn't such a wreck. I cried this morning when I left the house because I didn't want to leave him.

I suck though, because even when we are at home with each other, I can't hold my eyes open long enough to spend any time with him. I think I was out on the couch by like 7:30 last night. And I was still exhausted this morning!

So I have a girl's date for this Friday while A is working late. But I just realized something that is going to dampen my plans - I don't get paid until this Tuesday. I can't afford to go out for sushi Friday. This depresses me. I feel like we never have enough money. The paychecks are gone before I know it. And I hate bumming from friends. I don't know what we are going to do. This makes me sad. All I've wanted all week long is some good sushi!

Ok, I can't stand sitting here and listening to piano lessons any longer. I'm going to have to get out of here. Maybe one of these days I'll write an all the way happy, upbeat blog entry. You can hope, anyway.

I'm just a mess

Am I really going to be one of those people who is sick their entire pregnancy? Seriously, guys. This has got to stop. I cannot handle working here at this place when I can't get even one day where I actually feel good. I can't make it a week without throwing up, and when I manage to keep things down, I still feel the need to barf. I hurt all over, can't get over being tired, and just feel like an emotional wreck right now.

I don't have the patience for this job any more. I don't look forward to coming into work. I'm not happy once I get here. The only thing that keeps me going is counting down the minutes until the end of the day. But that only helps for so long, because then I'm dreading the next day. I think about when the baby is born, and how I wish that I could stay home and not have to come back to work. Lord knows it will take half my salary to put the baby in daycare, but we just have too many bills.

I'm worried about how things will change once the baby is born. We will have to eat at home a lot more, but how will we do that when A and I don't like to cook? What happens when he wants to buy his video games, computer stuff, and other gadgets but we don't have the money because we are spending it all on diapers. Will he resent me?

I just want to curl up in a hole somewhere. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day without crying in front of my students. I need A. I wish he was here right now. I miss my grandmas. I hate the fact that they are never going to see their first great grandbaby. Never get to hold him/her. I'll never have that bond. I feel like I didn't get enough of a chance to get to know them myself like I wanted. Grandpa W has his new wife, but that's not the same. She doesn't cook homemade bread and play with my hair. She's too proper to really seem like she cares. And my other grandpa is so lonely. And I can't even talk about it with him because it upsets me so much that she's gone.

I need to compose myself before my next class comes in. God, today is hard.

I hate my computer

I just wrote a bunch. And my computer messed up and I lost it. This makes me very angry. I don't remember everything I wrote! Damn! And I have a class in 15 minutes and don't have time to sit here and think about it!

Well, the baby is an avocado now. Seems to be the same size or smaller than an apple, but I'll take it.

I've been sick with something, although not sure what. I had a really sore throat yesterday. A has it today. Now I'm just really congested and stopped up. I've been sneezing and blowing my nose like crazy. At least it's Friday. I just want to make it through the work day.

Seriously though, I am still made about losing everything I wrote. I thought you were supposed to autosave, blogger! Grr.

So I found this really neat quote. Thought I'd share it:

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for."
- Unknown Author

A and I are definitely looking forward to meeting our little one!

Time for class. Can you see my happy face? I didn't think so.

::yawns::

Good golly, Molly I am tired! I've got about 15 more minutes until my next class comes in. I have two more classes to get through today.

Couldn't sleep well last night. Took me forever to get to sleep because of a terrible tummy ache. It was probably caused by taking my prenatal vitamins too late at night and then eating pickles afterwards. Yuck.

Still can't get over being tired and sore from the concert. Oh, and I still can't get over the fact that I got to meet some of the band! (I promise, there will be a blog entry to come about that)

My sister-in-law should just about be moved in to her dorm up at Ball State. I hope she can make the transition well.

My back is killing me.

I love fruit roll-ups.

I want sushi.

Did I mention I'm beyond tired?