I think I can, I think I can

I'm really trying today. Extra hard. I'm trying to get to the point that when I leave work today, I'm not crying. Of course, today is faculty meeting day, so not guarantees.

One of my coworkers has a grandson who they believe has autism. She told me that she has been reading up on his conditions and all the recent studies they have been doing about it. She told me today that they think they have proven that women who are in extreme high stress are much more likely to have a child born with autism. Although this study pertained to women who had been through disasters while pregnant, it still stuck a chord with me. My worries are worrying Daven. And I don't want to do that.

I need to find a way to eliminate my constant anxiety and stress. Yes, the easy solution would be to just stop working! But then we would be in a financial crisis, and that wouldn't help! I wish it were just as easy as saying "I'm not going to let this bother me anymore" but I know it's not.

I need to remember to talk to the doctor tomorrow about this carpel tunnel stuff. It is killing both wrists to type right now. I don't know if anything can be done about it though. Oh yes, and I need to talk to her about my back pain. I need to make a list.

I really hope that tomorrow morning goes well. I have my one hour blood test for gestational diabetes. If I fail that, I have to come back in to do the 3 hour test. That's another day that I won't be at school for the full time. I am going to run out of sick days before Daven even gets here! I'm just really nervous. I can't have anything to eat or drink after midnight tonight until after my test tomorrow morning. Then I have to drink that gross orange drink they give you. This worries me because I've been feeling icky in the mornings again, and I'm afraid I won't be able to keep it down. Then after I get there, of course I have to get blood taken. I really hope that I don't pass out, since I have to drive myself and also come straight to school after I'm finished.

Stop worrying!

I know, see what I mean? I can't control anything that happens tomorrow, so why am I getting a stomach ache over it now? This is what I'm talking about. This is what I've got to figure out how to change.